That title was just to lure you. Really I'm here to promote Stewpot.
Just kidding!
Top 5 SEXIEST VOICES
5. SEAN PAUL
Just a Jamaican accent goes a long way. All the better if he favors incomprehensibles like, "The gal dem Schillaci Sean da Paul." Picture him saying:
Just gimme the gees an we be clubbing yow.
Gal a make we please and we be thuggin' now.
Sippin' Hennesey an we'll be bubblin' yow.
Set we mind at ease we got to take it slow.
Also see what I mean about the popularity of my poultry? Hennessey! Sippin'--that sounds obscene!
4. COREY FLINTOFF
Picture him saying: "From NPR News in Washington, I'm Corey Flintoff."
3. SACHA BARON COHEN
Oh I know he's so played out right now, but I can't resist. Hopefully needless to say, I do NOT refer to the Borat voice, but SBC's real voice as revealed to me in his Golden Globe speech. (But the Ali G voice will do, too.) Picture him saying: "I thought to myself, I better win a bloody award for this."
2. PATRICK FITZGERALD
Brooklyn-bred prosecutor of the powerful. Hot. Picture him saying, "At the end of the day what appears is that Mr. Libby's story...was not true. It was false. He was at the beginning of the chain of phone calls, the first official to disclose this information outside the government to a reporter. And then he lied about it afterwards, under oath and repeatedly." Who's your daddy?
1. SHOCK G
Don't think "Humpty Dance." Think "Freaks of the Industry." You know, the one who put the satin on your panties. Picture him saying:
Still bringin satin for them drawers/
Velvet for the mic and got a pound for the cause
I didn't do a ladies category. Any nominees from you lady-lovers? Keisha Cole?
8 comments :
The ladies:
1. Kelis. NOT when she's singing, but when she's talking. She's got that hoarse/bedroom voice thing going on. Plus she seems freaky as hell.
2. One of those British actresses. Doesn't matter which, as long as it's not Dame Judy Dench or some such.
3. I never really think about women's voices. But I do hate those women that are dressed all *ahem* "grown" and then have the voice of a 13-year-old girl when they open their mouths.
YES! YES! YEEEESSSSS!!!! Sean Paul, Ali G, and Shock G...and I thought I was the only one.
Don't try to be anonymous, Brian. I know you love Kelis. And I have to agree that she does have a muy sexy speaking voice.
Sorry, as a lady lover I have to say Catherine Keener. She's kind of, um, gorgeous anyway, but I love that sort of hoarse/bedroom thing too, and she's got it.
Also as a member of the sexygeek lovers squad, can I add Sarah Vowell?
Plus, where the Southern Belle Intellectuals at? That's the hottest EVER. I have a prof now that fits the category: funny as hell, breaks into French with a fine accent, then slips right back onto the Southern tip and wows me with cultural criticism that's not pretentious. What's sexier than that? So what if she's 65?
hmmmm... least sexy lady voices: j-lo, angie jolie
im always amazed at how unsexy they sound when they open their mouths... also madonna
Okay, you shamed me into not being anonymous. I thought of a new one: Amy Winehouse. How can you not love a badass British jazz singer chick who's not afraid to collaborate with Ghostface Killah? Here's what I'm talking about. Also, she's hot.
It's fortunate that your girlfriend is hotTER, else she might be offended.
Oh Corey Flintoff...it's that teensiest tinge of sneer that does it...
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