5. Coffee
No redeeming value. It can't be good for health; in fact, it totally seems like the next commonplace habit that we just aren't yet aware is a death sentence. It doesn't, objectively, taste good. (Its tasting good to us surely stems from positive addict associations.) And what a damn waste of money, all those Peet's lattes. For shame, brokeass Clebbie. But, oh, how I love to carry them and coddle them and nurse them through the day as they get old and cold and I never mind.
4. Thinking Hot Girls Are Cool People
See Kardashian, Kim. I make this mistake every time.
3. Automated Exercise
While the virtuous sport, jog, bike and hike to their way to heaven, I tread toward eternal damnation. How invigorating and pure to enjoy the out of doors while exercising! But in practice the only way I get a decent workout is by plugging my body into enough mechanisms that the workout feels to be happening to me.
2. Driving
Wicked indeed!
1. Countdowny Lists
Why must all things be in a countdowny list format? Why so culturally obsessed with ranking and measuring? Can't two news stories be equally important, (Keith Olbermann)? Can't two celebrities be equally hot in divergent ways? Don't some white people like some things with different degrees of intensity than other white people like those same things? (Dogged refusal to link to that last.) I thought I hated countdowny lists. Having made one myself, apparently I don't.
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3. "Lollipop." Nuff said.
2. Our reef aquarium. I soothe my guilt over having threatened species in our living room by saying "it's my one indulgence."
1. Reading blogs when I should be doing something productive.
Oh man. I am so going to work on this when I am stuck alone in between wax earplugs tomorrow morning..great boredom game!
5. Java Jackets
In hell you are in a giant warehouse buried beneath all the lids, straws & java jackets you didn't REALLY need, but took anyway.
4. Overpriced Designer Jeans
I was the last girl on the planet to get them,but now its compulsive.
3. Fat Tire can't be wrong, can it?
2. Neil Young
I know I used to NOT like him.
Let's see, the lyrics aren't that great. His voice? - Yeah not so great. Epic guitar solos - since when do I like those?
1. Insecticide
You killed my phalenopsis,mealy bug bastards!!! Now you must die!!
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