Best Month Ever

August 2008. What I would have said if I'd been here:

Resigned to network TV--no longer Think I Can Dance--but Josh wins!--next up: Olympic fever--okay, China, you can join the superpower club, just stop it; 2008 drummers scaring me--damn your handsome ass, Kobe! how does he look good in that sailor-silly outfit?--Morgan Freeman Visa ads make me cry--finished dead last...but finished--why do I feel sorry for Michael Phelps? 10,000 calories a day has to be fun, right?--Sports: I don't get it--Alicia Sacramone is pretty!--(Is Nastia a bitch? You can tell me, Alicia.)--we all saw Mary Lou Retton cheering for chipper chipmunk Shawn--just sayin--do I hear crowing?--I got soul, but I'm not a soldier--who will take gold in the Creepy Overbearing Olympic Dad event? Butch May or Valeri Liukin?--told you John Edwards is a weasel; it had to happen: Law of Couples says the guy can never look better--official: I hate James Joyce--two-peach-a-day habit--if "American Boy" and "Calabria" take turns on the radio forever, fine with me--Wuh-wuh wuya rackamaron cuh-nuh-yuh-titon cutiton-yeah (like learning Hebrew songs, memorize sounds and understand nothing)--fever breaks: once Usain bolts, what else can there be?--fuck, I raised a rooster --"Winona" out-->two new chickies: welcome Betsy, bonjour Marianne!--first night in the coop, so you know it's Bay Area soul lullabyes; what scared pullet wouldn't be soothed by Keisha Cole and Goapele as performed by Cleb?--I used to think that I wasn't fine enough/And I used to think that I wasn't cheep-cheep wild enough cheeeep!--Ximena, don't peck! shhh But I won't waste my time tryina figure out/Why you're playin games what's this all about cheep-cheep-cheep (this disgusts Crim)--hey, wouldn't it be cute to death if they had literal pussycats (kittens!) all in a chorus line singing When I grow up/I want to be famous--the convention is coming! cable is coming! unshackle me, Comcast!--it's Biden?! it's Biden!! more on this soon--well whaddya know, cable news still blows--you bloviate, I watch--no longer fine with me if "American Boy" and "Calabria" take turns on the radio--how much adulatory compensation for the presidency do the Clintons need?--welcome back, Barack--just a break, like I promised, not a breakup--overheard: I'm not gonna say WTF anymore. I'm just gonna say "Sarah Palin"--hurricane+convention=abominable PR-->God hates Republicans--THE END

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