Of course he can't win. He's not even fighting for it! Because he's a wussilicious Obambi. And anyway the DemDream candidate loses to the machine Dembot. Or, if one sneaks past the nominating process, he's headed for cautionary tale status via a Republican creaming. Only lame Southern DLCers can win.
His only appeal is to suckers for gauze. Serious lefty people see him for the bland centrist he is. John Edwards is the true progressive candidate, keeping it real with his grit, morals, affinity for the common man and marital fidelity.
Chris Matthews squandered all credibility with his JFK comparisons and the thrill up his leg.
He's too black. He's not black. Black people reject him because he's fake black. Also white people secretly hate him but they don't want you to know. Also Latinos kinda don't like black people, so count them out. He's like way too weird and complicated and Americans need a bland story in red, white and blue tacked to their candidates. And don't count on those *young people* who'll be like oops I was fucking around online and I totally forgot to vote.
Caucuses are undemocratic. They don't count. Also small states. Don't count. He can't win big states like New York and California. He can't compete in crucial battlegrounds like Michigan, Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania. He can't close the deal. Superdelegates, that's the thing. Superdelegates!
You have to be fucking kidding me. Just in general.
The Rust Belt is the realness. You can't expect to get anywhere with all these fakey rainbow Americans. The Rusty people will be bitter over "bitter." The pantsuit posse will defect. And I mean, I'm not racist, but I'm just saying, like, some people are. You know what I mean.
Fifty-state whategy? Please. Cut it out. Perhaps you've heard of a certain looooser named Howard Dean. Oh yeah, he'll win in the South. Sure. Why not. The skies will open, the light will come down, celestial choirs will be singing and blue paint will spill across this great nation. You just try that. McCain has scars and experience. You can't put this flimsy hoper up against that.
He should be more tough and less celebry and more wonkish and less wonkish and stand up, stand up, stand up and fight. Oh shit, Sarah Palin! That's it. It's over. Sarah Palin and her magic. Biden? Gaffe factory. Sure to ruin shit. And BO-ring. Sarah's got that spark.
And too you know we're a center-right nation, betcha. Those for-reals Americans they don't like the taxing and the socialisting and you know he's not, I'm trying to be nice about this but he's not one of us. I'm not even sure in what way, but he's just not, somehow or other.
He might be ahead because of the financial crisis, but McCain will sweep in and fix that. He might be ahead in the polls, but that doesn't mean...you might not know this, but there's a thing called the Bradley effect. You also might not know about the Republican 36-hour get-out-the-vote machine.
Also, he can't close the deal.
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